Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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