I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
