Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my liver is dry heaving
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
