I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
