Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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