I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
