Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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