We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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