She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
