Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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