what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
