Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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