i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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