If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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