Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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