I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
