My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
being pregnant is like rehab
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
