We won't sleep together?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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