please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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