margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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