when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
