So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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