we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
