Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
