and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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