I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
