I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
