I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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