question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
