"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
