i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
