The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
