Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
