Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
