I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
