shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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