When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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