He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i dont even know how to be here
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
