a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
