Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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