yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Of course I have a pirate flag
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
