Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think people are normalizing furries
wow bdsm is so cute
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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