You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
