some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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