ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
