do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
