I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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