Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
