So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
