and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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