well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
